One of the most transformative principles of life is: "Treat others as you want them to treat you." This simple yet profound rule fosters better relationships and helps create a more harmonious world. But its essence goes deeper—it’s about becoming the person we aspire to be and spreading the energy we wish to receive.

I was inspired by three powerful sources: Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King, Atomic Habits by James Clear, and the movie Pay It Forward. Each of them left a profound mark on how I perceive personal growth, kindness, and the ripple effects of our actions. Vex King taught me about the energy we emit and how it shapes our reality, while James Clear showed me how small, consistent habits can transform not only ourselves but the way we impact others. Pay It Forwardillustrated the incredible power of passing kindness along—a simple act that can spark a chain reaction of positivity.

 

The World as a Mirror

Our behavior reflects what we want to see in others. If we desire kindness, respect, or understanding, we must first embody these traits. As Vex King writes in his book: “The energy you emit is the energy you attract.” The world mirrors our actions and emotions. By radiating positivity, we’re more likely to experience it in return.

James Clear’s Atomic Habits complements this idea by explaining how small, consistent actions create ripple effects. If we approach each interaction with respect and kindness, we reinforce the habits and identity of someone who attracts goodwill. For example, if we consistently thank people for their efforts, even in the smallest ways, we set a tone that encourages them to reciprocate.

 

Start with Yourself

We often wish to be respected, understood, and supported. Yet, Vex King encourages us to ask ourselves: “Am I giving the same energy I want to receive?” If we crave respect, we need to model it first. If we want kindness, we must freely offer it.

James Clear illustrates this with identity-based habits: What would a kind person do right now? Would they snap in frustration or offer a patient response? Each choice we make is a vote for the kind of person we want to become, and it subtly influences how others see and respond to us.

 

Empathy as the Key

Empathy is the foundation of this principle. When we take the time to see life from someone else’s perspective, we respond with understanding instead of judgment.

“People who hurt others are often hurting themselves. Responding with kindness is a reflection of your strength, not their actions.” Imagine encountering a rude coworker. Instead of retaliating, pause and ask: What might they be going through? This shift in mindset diffuses negativity and helps maintain the kind of person you want to be—kind and empathetic, regardless of the circumstances.

Similarly, creating feedback loops of positive behavior strengthens relationships. Every empathetic choice builds trust and fosters deeper connections, encouraging others to mirror the same behavior.

 

Small Gestures, Big Changes

The misconception that meaningful change requires grand gestures often paralyzes us. But small steps in the right direction can lead to beautiful destinations. A smile, a thank-you, or holding a door open for someone might seem trivial, but these acts ripple outward, creating positivity far beyond the moment.

James Clear likens this to the compounding effect of habits. Imagine starting a simple daily practice of greeting strangers with kindness. Over time, this small, deliberate action not only improves your mood but also invites others to share in the positivity, amplifying its impact exponentially.

 

The Power of Paying It Forward

The movie Pay It Forward amplifies this principle by introducing a powerful idea: instead of merely reciprocating kindness, pass it on to others. The protagonist, a young boy named Trevor, inspires others to perform three acts of kindness for someone else rather than repaying him directly. This chain of good deeds grows exponentially, affecting lives in ways he could never have imagined.

Incorporating this idea into your daily life transforms the concept of kindness into a movement. Imagine buying coffee for a stranger, who then helps a colleague at work, who in turn uplifts a friend going through a hard time. Your single act of generosity can spark a cascade of goodwill. As Trevor says in the film, “It’s hard, but you can do it. You can fix a person.”

This mindset aligns perfectly with the principles in Good Vibes, Good Life and Atomic Habits. When you approach life with an intention to create ripples of positive change, you not only improve your immediate environment but contribute to a larger wave of transformation.

 

Taking Responsibility for Our Behavior

“You don’t have to control how others behave; you just need to control how you respond.” Instead of waiting for others to change, start by modeling the behavior you wish to see. This simple but profound shift in focus empowers you to create the environment you desire.

James Clear emphasizes the importance of systems over goals. When you focus on consistently acting with kindness, you create a system that naturally fosters better relationships and a more positive world.

 

How to Begin

Starting small is key to making kindness and positive behavior habitual. Here are some practical steps:

1. Smile and greet others. As Vex King notes, a simple smile can “light up someone’s day.” Let your positivity shine through even small interactions.
2. Listen actively. Make others feel heard by giving them your full attention. James Clear emphasizes that habits like these reinforce the identity of a caring and attentive person.
3. Show gratitude. Begin or end your day by expressing thanks to at least three people or for three moments. Gratitude helps you focus on the good, which amplifies positive energy.
4. Pay it forward. Embrace Trevor’s philosophy from Pay It Forward. When someone does something kind for you, pass that kindness along to three others. Watch as this practice creates ripples of positivity far beyond your reach.

These small actions require minimal effort but can have an enormous impact. Each moment offers a chance to start a ripple effect of kindness, understanding, and respect.

 

A Call to Action

Imagine a world where everyone embraced this principle: "Act and behave the way you want others to treat you." More respect, kindness, and understanding would define our daily lives. Vex King captures this sentiment beautifully: “To change the world, you must first change yourself.” And as Trevor in Pay It Forward demonstrated, one small act can spark a chain reaction of goodness that changes countless lives.

You don’t have to transform the entire world in one grand gesture. Start with your corner of it. Choose kindness, empathy, and generosity today. Smile at a stranger, listen with intent, or extend a helping hand. Small acts, when repeated, become habits. Habits, when shared, become movements. And movements, when fueled by compassion, can change the world.

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Author: Michal Filip, Scrum Master at Elevon.io